This is a love letter to you. This is my way of saying thank you to all those that have been there for me over this past year. It has been a true test. Yet, God prevails.
I'm not ready to give the full details of my absence from the blogging world, but I will give you a synopsis by saying it's been the hardest thing I have ever gone through...
More difficult than any schooling, training or diaper changing.
More frustrating than any test - academic or fitness.
More heartbreaking than watching children starved for both food and attention.
It was brutal.
But our God is bigger than any struggle, and if I have learned anything from this past year it's that He wants every part of us.
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind..." - Luke 10:27
He wants our souls.
He wants our strength.
He wants our minds.
HE WANTS EVERY PART OF US.
What was I giving Him before this epic breakdown of mine?
My mind -- I studied His word daily.
My strength -- I trained for His glory.
My body -- I traveled to a foreign country at His will.
My heart -- insert epic fail here....no, but really, like the most devastating skateboarding crash you've ever seen. Or maybe slipping on a banana peel in Mario Kart. Or pretty much anything off of America's Funniest Home Videos...
So, hopefully, you get the point.
I was holding out only what I wanted to God.
Meanwhile, my heart remained firmly in my grasp.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
This, my favorite verse, tells us first and foremost to give our hearts to God.
So, this is what I'm going to strive for this year.
To all those who read this silly little thing I call a blog, please hold me accountable to this.
Hold me to my word that I truly desire to give my whole heart to the Lord.
And may He bless the words I write -- an overflow of His love.
In Christ,
I randomly came across this the other day and noticed all of your previous posts were unavailable and it had been quite awhile since you posted so I figured you had given up on blogging. Glad to hear you're coming out of your tribulations and hope everything continues to get better.
ReplyDeleteAmy
ReplyDeleteSooooo wonderful to hear from you! I was praying for you during that time of crisis. The Lord is faithful and when you passed through the waters, He was with you, and the river did not overflow you,
And the fire did not scorch you or burn you because He is the Lord your God! (Isaiah 43:2-3)
I’ll be praying for your full heart delivery!
Much Love
Mrs Howard
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI too know what it feels like to not give yourself fully to God, especially in times of trial. The most reassuring part about the ever flowing grace that comes from him, is that, even despite us, he still loves. Although it may feel like you weren't fully connected to him, he was with you, despite you. I know, from my own life, that even when I create chaos, he still loves. You are doing making things through him, I know he will keep using you to do even more incredible things. I will be praying for you friend!
Best homecoming date ever,
Curtis Stuesse
Amy, It's so good to see you up and running again. I am with you on this run, I've stumbled and fallen more than I care to admit. I so understand the holding back that you speak of. Trust and fear have always been my struggle. I thank God for His faithfulness. Because He is always with us, picking us up and helping us along even when we don't realize it. I'm thankful that you are back on the road. Praying for you!
ReplyDelete